How do I survive trying to raise a teenager?

Teenagers are going through the stage in life where they believe they know all there is to know, but the hormones and chemicals charging through their brains and bodies hinder them unable to reason as rational adults. They want what they want when they want it, and don't have any clue that what they are asking for will hurt them. It is the job of the parent to keep their children safe from themselves. Jesus teaches us this is Matthew 7:9-10 when He says, "You parents - if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not!" Sometimes children ask for things that look good to them, but will in fact end up harming them, so it is the responsibility of the parents to do what is best. We have the same rules - if we ask God for something we think is good, but God knows is not, He will not give it to us.

Having Jesus in your household is the best way to raise children. "Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it" (Proverbs 22:6). If you have become a Christian by asking Jesus into your heart, then the Holy Spirit is living in you and will teach you all things (John 14:26, 1 John 2:27), and this includes the way we raise our children. Children learn by what they observe from us much more than what we say to them, so being a holy example is very important.

The Bible teaches us the importance of discipline. "If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them" (Proverbs 13:24). "Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don't, you will ruin their lives" (Proverbs 19:18). "Discipline your children, and they will give you happiness and peace of mind" (Proverbs 29:17). It is very important to lay down rules and keep to them. When a child knows that what they are doing is wrong, some sort of punishment should follow, but it should be appropriate for the "crime." Lying shows that a child can not be trusted, so maybe until that trust can be built up again, time spent out of the house should be very limited. They will want you to trust them again, so they will learn from that. The worst thing we can do is try to become our children's friend instead of parent.

Discipline should be done always out of the best interest of the child. Ephesians 6:4 says we are not to make our children angry by the way we treat them (this doesn't mean don't discipline, it means don't get unjustifiably angry or abusive), but raise them with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Make sure you are telling your child why the behavior is wrong, why you disagree, and that you are doing it out of love for them. Hebrews 12:7 tells us that God disciplines all His children when we do wrong because He loves us and it wouldn't be good for us if He didn't. I have a friend who, when her children argue about being punished, tells them, "It's my responsibility to discipline you, and if I don't, I have to answer to God. And He's a lot tougher than I am!"

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